“But the righteous shall be glad;
They shall exult before God;
They shall be jubilant with joy!
Sing to God, sing praises to His name;
Lift up a song to Him who rides through the deserts;
His name is the Lord; exult before Him!
Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation.
God settles the solitary in a home…”
Psalm 68:3-6a ESV
This past season has been met with things I did not anticipate, which I believe is typically the norm. But I’ve found that that when I see it in hindsight, it’s beautiful and fills in so many pieces of my heart puzzle. I may not always see it when I’m in the thick of it, but when the clouds clear, I’m able to be ‘jubilant with joy.’
Back at the beginning of November, Chris and I began to feel a huge push toward foster care (which is something I told God I wasn’t ever going to do… like ever… haha, oh man) It was an exciting emotional rollercoaster as we had so many conversations about God blending our hearts together for His purpose and vision. 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. While I was very excited, I was also a bit confused. I thought I was done having babies and that we were moving on to foster/adoption. And I was honestly content with that idea… having Ethan was a journey in itself so it was time to move on to the next adventure. But that’s not what God had in mind.
Fast forward to January/February of this year, and Chris and I find our marriage being attacked with the presence of anxiety. True anxiety that causes you to lay awake at night and struggle to focus on just breathing. We couldn’t understand how we were supposed to juggle so many life things and bring new life into our home. Why would God ask us to do so many things at once? Businesses burdens, kids, foster care, medical expenses; I could name 100 more worries. Thankfully, the Lord has provided help and blessings that have answered so many of those questions. But the one that still looms is foster care…
So here I am, right now, at the Life Cafe in Lifetime Fitness. Planning on working and spending some time in the Word. Not really looking for anything Earth shattering, just reading and enjoying my last hour of Ethan being in the child care center. And I read the passage above out of Psalm 68. I’ve read it probably a dozen times now and so clearly hear the Father’s voice.
“All I’m asking from you is your praise, song, and joy. Exult My name right NOW. I will fulfill the promise and calling of foster care and adoption when I’m ready. That hasn’t gone away. But let Me handle that right now. I see the fatherless and I’m already preparing your heart for a specific child. But for now, exult My name.”
I look ridiculous with tears streaming down my face as all these people here are ordering their protein shakes and ending their work outs. But when you ask God to show up, He does. My spirit can’t help but respond. And I’m 5 months pregnant so I can always blame it on hormones.
While we are not completely out of this season, I feel like we are on the tail end of it. New life is joining our family, God has provided for our every need with medical expenses, He has meet us in the midst of anxiety, and provided counseling and faithful friends who speak wisdom and truth. His goodness is here. His presence is tangible in a small corner of Life Cafe. He is faithful to answer those who seek.